Monday, November 5, 2012

Kill Me At Once.

An old blind man and his granddaughter walk into a small town to tell some fucked up stories to children. The old man tells his fucked up stories in song. Nice, huh?


The first story is about a mentally handicapped man who's still longing for a woman that got married years ago. After getting his ass kicked at her old house, he then wakes up in a cemetery where he finds a donkey, pretends the donkey is the woman, he sodomizes it, stabs it, and then accidentally kills himself.

How cute... Not. This was fuckin' weird. I digged it though.


The second story is about a middle aged actress who starts fucking around with a man that's obsessed with the occult. After long talk scenes and a not so erotic sex scene, the actress has aged quickly. Her hair is now grey and wrinkles are all over her face. Oh noo's.....

What exactly just happened here? I don't know. I don't care.


After second comes third. In the third, a doctor who secretly loves men gets the best birthday present ever from Satan himself. Satan promises him men. Lots and lots of men. So, the doctor has flings with guys more attractive than he is but then he wants to get out of this since he no longer cares about having guys. Satan of course isn't too happy with this and will now punish the doctor for this bullshit.

This one made me laugh only because there was a Madame wannabe. Other than that, it was ridiculously boring.


4th! A young boy is bitten by a poisonous snake. His mother and brother lay his dying body near the sea where an Aztec grim reaper type of character takes him away.

I don't get what happened here. Really, I don't. I watched the movie 3 times and still didn't get it. Geez..


5th! Almost done here!
Complications for a man's funeral. The hearse breaks down and people are yelling at each other at the service.

I think this was meant to be funny but of course I wasn't laughing. This was so dumb.

LAST!
A wealthy girl loses her peasant boyfriend in a gun battle. She goes insane and wears a wedding dress everyday 'waiting' for her boyfriend to come for her and marry her. Eventually he does... FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!

This one was pretty long but interesting at least.


Que Me Maten De Una Vez (aka "Kill Me At Once") is sadly a dull anthology movie. I honestly wanted to like it but I just couldn't. The music in the movie is really good though. I liked the opening song and the songs the old blind man plays. They're quite catchy.


If you're curious to check this movie out, then go for it. Don't let me stop you. Watch it and then die afterwards, okay? (please don't really die. I love you). 3/10.

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