Thursday, November 10, 2011

Please don't take me to the Drive-In to see "Drive-In Massacre".

The Drive-In theater can be a pretty fucking boring place to be at.

A couple are about to conceive their first child at a Drive-In. Before baby making, the dude sticks his head and arm outta the car window to get the dirty speaker. Next thing you know, SLASH! STAB! The couple are killed in their own car... At the Drive-In! Scary/Awesome stuff, huh? Perhaps. So you know, now there's a couple of detectives trying to find the Drive-In killer. Unfortunately, the suspects they got are a bunch of dorks. We are to believe Germy could be the killer since he's a little dummy and works at the Drive-in all the time. Then there's the manager of the Drive-In, who dresses horribly and hates everybody. Then last but not least, we got a chronic masturbator who collects pornography and looks at couples doin' it in their cars at the Drive-In. Which dork could be the killer? Find out (or not) in Drive-In Massacre!

Drive-In Massacre is so damn/fucking boring. If you want to watch this shit, be sure to have someone (girl and/or boy!) keeping you company to make the viewing less boring. To make the movie sound more awful (and once again boring), the plot doesn't make sense! It's stupid dammit. It really, really is stupid. The gory kills are okay though but ehh.. That doesn't make the movie less shitty. If anything though, the opening is the only good thing about the movie.  We get a nice shot of the dead looking Drive-In in the early morning, then it comes to life at night with car lights and the neon sign that says "Drive-In Massacre". Ahhh, it's magical. Too bad the song that plays in the opening sucks. Ha! 3/10.

1 comment:

The Artist Formerly Known as J. Astro said...

I love that Buck Flower shows up stumbling around drunk at the end of this movie, and I love the "who really cares, anyway?" mystery ending. A tasty treat for sure.